Year six.

Every time I approach this part of the story, I hope to myself: "Maybe this year will be better!" I'm afraid to hope for this based on what happened the last time I had this thought, back in March of 2025.

My mental health really took a nosedive in 2025. I was on multiple anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications just to cope. I resumed therapy, which helped me through the worst of times. My work stabilized somewhat. The personal lives of others dear to me also seemed to calm, which helped. And: I was riding. Feeling free, racking up the kms.

Fast forward to August. The challenge. Also, bad air quality. I felt that the rides were a little harder than they ought to be - like my cardio wasn't quite right. Being an ignorant male, I put aside any thoughts about my 2022 medical situation and just kept going as I was able to, blaming the atmosphere for me feeling winded. My left calf was feeling a bit swollen and sore. Probably just a sprain. Then, within a peroid of 72 hours: a diagnosis of a multiple profound deep vein thromboses in the leg, severe shortness of breath at rest, an ambulance ride to Victoria Hospital in London, multiple tests including my first CT scan and a diagnosis of multiple pulmonary emboli.

My lungs are clear now. My left calf still carries some deformation, likely permanent. No root cause identified - yet. Lifetime watchfulness and management of this condition is my new reality. I'm now only taking the anti-anxiety on an as-needed basis, when things get unhinged. Not regularly.

The rides await. They will need to pry the handlebars from my cold dead hands. Every fibre in my soul tells me I need this for 2026, more so than ever.